“I think I have AIDS”

The people of Mewat are in a denial mode about the AIDS pandemic, little realising that they could be sitting on a live volcano

Akash Bisht Mewat

“I think I have AIDS and I am dying. Please send me to jail. At least there I will be looked after—I will get two square meals and will not go hungry. Can you please help me; my son is also showing the same symptoms,” said a sobbing Anwar Khan, resident of a remote village of Ghandhigram Ghasera in Mewat to this reporter whom he mistook for a doctor.

Anwar Khan is one of the many truck drivers who hail from Mewat and who have been hit by the AIDS pandemic. Khan was earlier employed in the mines near the Aravalli hills until the Supreme Court banned mining. Like many others he chose to become a driver after he lost his job.

Anwar Khan is an exception. He is perhaps one of those very few who are willing to own up that they have AIDS.  Others refuse to accept that they have a problem and fear mentioning the words HIV/AIDS. But their vehemt denial of the existence of the disease doesnt wish away the problem. There are hundreds who suffer from this deadly disease in more than the 400 villages of Mewat, but live in a state of self-denial. The truth, as this reporter pieced together, is so chilling that it can destabilise the entire pastoral community. This scourge is entering homes and infecting clueless women who do not know what their husbands are bringing from their long road journeys.

The journey to get to the bottom of the truth was arduous. Questions were stonewalled and journalistic persistence met with hostile glares. It was after much effort that this reporter found someone who promised to breach this wall of silence and denial.

He said he would try putting the reporter to patients of AIDS. Phone numbers were exchanged and a date was fixed. This reporter packed his bags deciding to spend couple of days in the Nuh area of Mewat.

The contacts who promised to take this reporter to the AIDS patients turned cold. One contact said he forgot about this appointment and was busy with his brothers wedding. Another said he was too sick to accompany him, and the third said:“who told you there was a problem of AIDS— there is nothing of this kind—just go away and don’t try to interfere in our lives”. It seemed someone had briefed them to maintain silence on this issue.

It was time to start a search for a person who could help win the confidence of the villagers who could explain the extent of the problem.

Teachers are the best people to talk to in a village. They have a feeling of self importance and consider themselves to be wiser than the rest. They were categorical that talking about HIV/AIDS in the villages of Mewat was not going to be easy. “You mention the word and there is silence. You can only talk about it in hushed tones,” said Maya Chand, a volunteer teacher, working with an NGO.

When asked do you know what this disease is all about, “All I know is that AIDS is a killer disease and spreads if you sit, eat, talk or bath with the person who is infected; one who has any kind of blisters. It also spreads if you have sex with a prostitute who is not healthy and is low on hygiene,” said another teacher knowingly.

“There have been a few deaths due to AIDS, but no one will own up. We know that Tuberculosis (TB) is a major problem here, but then it is curable. So if it was only TB then they would go in for a treatment. For AIDS they go nowhere,” added Arshad, a young unemployed youth.