The nation has finally discovered that AAP stands for Alphonso Aadmi Party – there’s absolutely nothing aam about some of its ministers: Law Minister Somnath Bharti, in particular, attacking and publically humiliating African women because their prudish neighbours made shocking remarks about them (these people are not like us, they wear short skirts, their food smells, they are drug addicts and sex workers, and so on) is just not done. Particularly after the Delhi Police refused to make arrests without a warrant.
When it comes to Arvind Kejriwal, I’m not a fan. I never have been, and most likely never will be.
This was the most entertaining year ever – so many of our politicians made us laugh till our sides ached.
I’m not thinking about global warming and rising sea levels these days. I’m more concerned about the rising levels of noise pollution in the run-up to the 2014 general election.
I have often wondered how couples who support ideologically different parties manage to live together.
If you’re as annoyed as I am about the opposition parties (well, mainly the BJP) causing frequent disruptions in Parliament, here’s information that will make your hair turn as whi
After expressing scorn and outrage over political issues on Twitter for about two years, I’ve decided to retire while still relatively unhurt and stick to writing about safer subjects – say, posting dead boring details about my meals.
For example, “Had fab, melty cheese-chorizo omelette for breakfast with crunchy French fries.”
Not going to Goa. I am sick — of Modi. Refuse to stand beside Rajnath as he declares that upstart Campaign Committee Chief (CCC) of my beloved party. Tried to get Gadkari on my side but he refused. He’s still sulking with me because I ruined his chances of being PM. Come on, as if Fatso will be able to fit into the PM’s chair!
Called the press and informed them I am indisposed — the nation must know when a great leader sneezes. Uma has called in sick too, and Yashwant has made a cheap excuse — rats ate the engine of the plane he was booked on, or some such rubbish.
I have never understood why many Indians believe that the West is the best. I know I’d die of a broken heart if I had to live away from this country for over a month. It’s not the food I’d miss (I could just as well cook it myself if push comes to shove), it’s the live entertainment that even the best comedy acts in the US and UK cannot match.
I’m so looking forward to the next general election. The fun has already begun, what with some UPA buddies running to the media whenever they’re disgruntled, and declaring that the election will take place this year itself. Here are a few people I’m going to be watching like a hawk.
Prime Minister Manmohan Singh: He’s not just raring to go — he’s roaring to go. If he continues this way, there may be a new slogan doing the rounds: “Singh is Lion King!”
Wanted: TV Reforms
We’ve been talking about police reforms, prison reforms, et cetera, for years now. Sadly, no one has ever mentioned TV news host reforms yet. We must acknowledge the fact that irresponsible TV hosts have a detrimental effect on India’s citizens too. Many of us have got shattered ear drums because of all that screaming, some of us are slowly going mad, and all of us have got dangerously high blood pressure. It’s just a matter of time before India’s TV host-related ailments become a serious project at the WHO.
7 am: Wrote a spot of poetry. It’s absolute rubbish, as always, but people will buy anything written by me. They adore me. Poetry apart, if I could publish all the fiction I order my state officials to write as statistics, I would instantly knock ChetanBhagat off the bestseller lists. Sweet boy, though. I love people who adore me.