Men of honour?

What is really being penalised by Khaps is the right of individuals to choose their partners and the same is being portrayed under the subterfuge of incestuous relationships in order to seek majority support
Neha Rathi Delhi

As Khap Panchayats face flak in the media and beyond about their draconian and unacceptable diktats with regard to same-gotra marriages, a recently held India/Independent People's Tribunal (IPT) brought to fore some untold stories of shock and horror that stage themselves in India today. And as it appears, it is not just the Khap-rulings in a rural backdrop that are fuelling such barbarity. And neither does it all stem from the same-gotra debate that has polarised the issue. There are many incidents of such violence being reported from middle-class educated households in cities like Delhi, Jodhpur and Faridabad where such crimes are being committed irrespective of the gotra or lineage. The focal point it seems is 'defiance' by the couples' and exercise of their 'right to choose' instead of flouting of gotra norms by them.

The IPT, organised by Shaktivahini and Human Rights Law Network (HRLN) in collaboration with many state-based women rights groups, brought to fore some astounding and gruesome testimonies from men and women whose only crime was that they fell in love and dared to defy the mandate of the 'honourable' samaj. For example, Delhi-based Nikhil married Himani against her family's wishes. Eight days into the marriage, the police barged into their home and took Himani away. Their marriage certificate was torn off and he was slapped with charges of abduction, and kept behind bars for more than a month. By the time Nikhil filed a habeas corpus writ petition in the High Court and got a decree in his favour, he was informed that Himani was already dead. He was casually handed over Himani's death certificate on the day he was to see her. While her family asserts she died from severe Pneumonia, the doctors concerned rubbish the same. His case remains pending in different courts. 

In another case of the kind, Seema, a Delhi-based woman married one Satish in an Arya Samaj Mandir against the wishes of her family. After the marriage they were forcibly separated and she has not been allowed to meet her husband. Though her own family has taken her in, but her brothers wash their hands off her saying that she has brought this fate upon herself by choosing to marry of her freewill.

For Rajasthan Police staffer like Tannu, who fell in love with and married a boy belonging to scheduled tribe, her marriage has taken a dramatic turn. Though the families have accepted the couple, it is the societal and self-styled guardians of Hindu dharma have ostracised and threatened the couple to the extent that the duo has been keeping their marriage under wraps since two and a half years. One look at her and you understand why this girl is not wearing any bangles in her wrists and is bereft of the quintessential vermilion which is otherwise considered quite the hallmark of a married woman. Her family is now concerned about the fate of her younger sister who is facing trouble getting married owing to Tannu's 'choice marriage'. Hence, the concealment. 

"The moment the groom's side gets to know that I got married by my choice, they reject my sister and break the alliance. I have been trying to hide my marital status but how does one hide a five-month-old baby? The attitude of police officers who work with me is the same as they discourage me from any kind of advice that I may give to people who come to the police station seeking help. On numerous occasions, I have been sent on duties away from jail on trivial pretexts so I may not be allowed to inform prisoners about their rights," she says.