Big Daddies and Lolitas
That many men and women like lots more sex than others is fair enough. What is more difficult to stomach is the greed of dirty old men for sex with girls much younger
My consternation stems not from some people enjoying more sex than others, but from the break in the journey towards a more just society that all of us are plodding along. My attempt is to query whether or not we live in times when society has agreed to abide by certain laws of the land. Is one of those laws not that adultery is a crime? And big daddies drooling at the thought of pawing the private parts of friends their children bring home does not seem quite right. In fact, it is sick. It is frightening. It makes me cry.
If high and mighty macho honchos think they will die if they are not allowed to treat children like toys they can pick off the shelf in a market, then they should begin their own bid to change the existing laws. But so long as current laws are in place, adults posing as experts on the alchemy of desire must be booked, exposed, shamed … and I am dying to add here, lynched.
I asked several such men what they are thinking when they decide to throw the law to the winds and forcefully disrobe women a generation younger. Many of them told me they are clueless as to what is in their mind at that moment. It goes to show how witless they are.
Some were at such a loss for words at my question that they responded with only a knowing smile that painted a ‘you don’t know what you are missing’ message as glowingly across their faces as a sparkling rainbow after a bout of showers.
Those who did find words, said things like:
“I swear to you she seduced me.”
“All men do it.”
“My wife is a damn good mother but she is not a good wife.”
“I love my wife. I will never leave her.”
“I want this, and I want that.”
“Why do you compare my wife to those other women? She is the mother of my children.”
“After all, I chose to marry my wife and not
I am sure there are a trillion other reasons for indulging in what makes one happy. At the same time, it is not necessary that everyone understands everything that everyone else does. But ask those who study core issues of social theory and they will tell you that many of today’s problems are born of our neglect of culture in these times of single-minded celebration of opulence.
Nancy Fraser, author of Feminism, Capitalism and the Cunning of History, feels that received understandings of capitalism are inadequate to explain 21st-century conditions. Fraser attempts to integrate familiar concepts from Marx, Polanyi, and Habermas with new insights from feminism, ecology and politics. The idea is to expand the concept of capitalism to accommodate all crisis tendencies and social struggles as well.
Fraser’s great concern is that the emancipation of women is no longer helping to build a better world. She worries that women may even be contributing to new forms of inequality and exploitation. “In a cruel twist of fate, I fear that the movement for women’s liberation has become entangled in a dangerous liaison to build a free-market society,” she says.
Feminist ideas are increasingly expressed in individualist terms. The feminist movement had once prioritized social solidarity. Now it celebrates female entrepreneurs, encouraging individual advancement and meritocracy. In the name of economic justice, feminism is critiqued today for ignoring non-economic injustices like domestic violence, sexual assault and reproductive oppression. There are few solutions for depressed wages, decreased job security, declining living standards and rise in poverty despite women working double shifts.
That is how far away both women and men stand from a just society today. But the good news is that more and more women have learnt to say no to some of the ways of the world. It would do a lot of good if daddies too were to teach themselves to say no, particularly to all those Lolitas who, they say, want to seduce them.