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‘My daughter will not do sex work’

Women of the Bedia community in Madhya Pradesh are slowly learning to say no to a tradition that drives them into prostitution

Anuja Agrawal Morena

Aruna, 38, is a teacher. She earns a meagre Rs 2,500 per month but is devoted to her profession.
Shikha, 15, is a simple village girl who wants to become a teacher just like Aruna when she grows up.
On the face of it, Aruna isn't any different from thousands of poorly-paid teachers across the country. Not that there is anything unusual about Shikha, who, like scores of young girls, has aspirations for a better future.
Yet, there is something that sets apart these two young women from their peers. Both belong to the Bedia community but have managed to create an alternate life for themselves: They have fought the forces that tried to push them into prostitution - the traditional trade of their community.
A majority of women of this denotified community remain unmarried and engage in myriad forms of prostitution for the sake of their families. Understandably, the high levels of income derived from prostitution, acceptance of the practice within the community, and absence of alternate means of income, makes the entry of young Bedia girls into this trade almost inevitable. While women who marry Bedia men do not engage in prostitution, they do not engage in any other paid work: they survive on the income of their husband's female kin and eventually their own daughters.

Given this background, the determination of Aruna, Shikha, and many other women and girls associated with the Abhyudaya Ashram in Morena, Madhya Pradesh, is exceptional. For not only is it unusual for Bedia girls to study, it is also unusual for married Bedia women to enter a mainstream profession such as teaching or engage in low-paid work, such as cooking and cleaning.

As an effort to empower Bedia women, the Abhyudaya Ashram, a residential school for Bedia girls and boys, was established 1992 by Ramsanehi, a Bedia, who has crusaded against the prostitution of women in his community for over half a century. The Ashram, which is funded by the State Department of Women and Child, has made a difference in the lives of around 1,000 Bedia children. Today, there are around 210 students - 115 girls and 95 boys. Students are enrolled from Class I till Class X and presently a class has between 17 to 25 students. After Class X, most stay on at the ashram and continue their studies in government schools and then at college. More importantly, no ashram girl is ever likely to engage in sex trade.

A typical school day begins at five am, with a prayer service at six. Then, the children clean their rooms - there are 11 rooms boarding 10 to 12 girls, which double up as classrooms - before breakfast at seven. This is followed by playtime till nine. After another prayer meeting, classes commence at 10.30 am. There is an hour-long lunch break at 12.30 pm after which children get back to their books till 4.30 pm.
There's tea and recreation, followed by evening prayers at six. Dinner is at seven, after which many students spend their time studying till late. Younger children are encouraged to call it a day by nine.

Keeping an eye on the kids are six male and six women teachers, besides six cooks, two peons and five social workers. The teaching job at the ashram is considered prestigious, as the ashram is recognised for its good work. And Aruna, who is one of the three Bedia teachers there, thanks her lucky stars that her mother had the guts to fight tradition, to educate her daughters.

But it has not been easy for her. While studying at Kanpur University, Aruna was a victim of discriminatory remarks made by her teachers. Even as a school student, she had to routinely ignore or repel the snide comments of villagers on her way to school. Today, Aruna has become an inspiration for her innumerable students. Take the case of Damyanti, 13. When her father died, her mother married another man leaving Damyanti with her father's family. On turning 12, she was prepared to proceed to Mumbai, like most Bedia girls of her neighbourhood. But Ramsanehi rescued Damyanti at her mother's behest. Yet, this young woman continues to be torn between the world of the ashram and the life for which her father's family had prepared her. However, others in the ashram are not so ambiguous.

At a tender age, Shikha was witness to the gruesome murder of her mother at the hands of her rich patron in Mumbai. "I was only seven when my mother was killed," says Shikha. "My 'mama-mami' (maternal uncle and his wife) brought me back to Jaggupura, my mother's village in Gwalior district. They never sent me to school. They used to say that they would send me to Mumbai (to engage in sex work) once I grew up," recalls the teenage Abhyudaya Ashram is now Shikha's only home after her sister Sonam sought Ramsanehi's help and rescued her from their uncle's home.

Sonam was recently married as a result of the efforts of the Ashram. As many as 60 Ashram girls have found marital partners over the past 15 years. This is no mean achievement as, even today, it is not difficult to come across a Bedia village in which no girl has ever been married. Because married women in the community do not engage in prostitution, marriage of girls is seen as a necessary step towards a progressive change in the community. But the experience of many Bedia women married to Bedia men shows that marriage is not the ultimate panacea.

Angoori and Madhuri, both in their 50s, earn a meagre monthly income of Rs 1,300. Angoori was married to a Bedia man, who deserted her for another woman after she bore him four daughters. Madhuri's mother was a Rai dancer in Patahria, a remote village in Sagar district. (Rai dance is a traditional dance form performed by a Bedni in this region.) But she gave it up in the hope of a respectable future for family. She got her daughters married; did many odd jobs before settling down as a cook in the ashram. Her Bedia husband does nothing. Yet, Angoori and Madhuri are not willing to take the easy way out. "I will work hard and remain poor but I am not going to send my daughters into this dhanda (trade)," insists Madhuri. This is unusual in a community where many married women succumb to the lure of money and are quite active in recruiting their daughters into prostitution.

Deepa, 19, one of Madhuri's daughters, is about to graduate, and is already working with a civil society organisation on a programme called 'Bhor'. Deepa is also an avid sportswoman, as are many other girls in Abhyudaya Ashram, having participated in sporting events at the university and state level.

The choice between a modest living and an ordinary existence on the one hand and prostitution and easy cash on the other is a difficult one for women of the Bedia community. But it is only by making this difficult choice that women like Aruna, Angoori, Madhuri and all the girls of Abhyudaya Ashram participate in the painfully slow process of change.

Their life stories are a testimony to the fact that saying "no" to any kind of dependence on prostitution is a difficult but decisive step for the women of this community.
(Some names have been changed to protect the identity of the women.)

Women's Feature Service